Funny Web Stuff for the Holiday Weekend

Here are three funny websites to keep you occupied for the three-day weekend.

Giant Microbes sells stuffed microbes. Instead of a same-old-same-old stuffed animal, a dog or a cat or a frog, get your child or grandchild a cuddly ebola doll, heartworm, or white blood cell.

Meat Cards sells business cards made from meat. I don't know about you, but I'd be more inclined to do business with somebody who hands me a piece of beef jerky instead of a piece of cardboard.

Tweeting Too Hard catalogs self important Tweets. Highly amusing - found via Lee Odden, TopRank.

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Double-Take

Speakin' of marketing messages (uh, weren’t we just talkin’ about that?), when was the last time you crafted one that grabbed folks attention?

Now, I’m not talkin’ about those namby-pamby, milquetoast kinda things everyone else is doin’. You know what I mean, right? Something like, “We’re the best because…” or “Buy now, because…”.

Blah, blah, blah.

Y’know, the problem with stuff like that is we’ve heard ‘em all before, right?

Nope, what you really want is a message that causes folks to do a double-take. Or one that sorta latches on to you in a “reach out the billboard, grab ‘em by the lapels, and shake ‘em until they puke” kinda way, y’know?

Well, I won’t say this one is really as powerful as all that. But it did catch my eye… Kinda clever, if you ask me.

What about you? Seen any signs lately that use the same technique? If you can snag a photo, share it, why don’cha?
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Photo: Buy gas Get beans, by Robert Hruzek
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Something Missing?

Yup; never fails, right?

I mean, you go to all the trouble to formulate your message. In fact, you spent quite a lot of time working with your leadership team, wordsmithing, wordcrafting, honing, polishing –

Afterwards, you even thought to try it out on a few folks; to sortof “kick the tires” and get gut reactions. It was some effort, lemme tell ya!

Once you had it down to where it was absolutely the best it could possibly get, you made plans to get the message out there. Hey, what’s the point of having a message if you don’t tell folks, right?

You researched the best locations, formulated the right delivery, and finally, the day came when your message was supposed to be out there for all to see...

Except... someone forgot something, didn’t they? Let’s hope this doesn’t represent YOUR marketing efforts!

*sigh*
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Photo: Something Missing, by Robert Hruzek
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When Good Words Go Bad

“Say what you mean; mean what you say.”

We’ve all heard some variation on that one, I bet. Probably used it yourself once or twice, even. Seems pretty straightforward, don’cha think?

Well, here’s a couple of little tidbits I read the other day from American Demographics magazine:

• When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life" pretty literally. The slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave."
• A hair products company, Clairol, introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, in Germany only to find out that mist is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the “manure stick”.
• When Gerber first started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as here in the USA - with the cute baby on the label. Later they found out companies in Africa routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside the box – since most people can't read.
  

Hey, that could never happen to me, you’re probably saying to yourself about now. Well… maybe. But sometimes you have no control over just what point of view a person brings to your, uh, message.

The Farts Store

The other day I was parking the car when we happened to notice the auto dealership across the street. I didn’t think anything of it – hey, it was just your run of the mill car business, but Mrs. MZM said, “You gotta see this from where I sit!”

I looked again, but all I saw was an ordinary building, y’know? Over on one end was the word “Service”, but right in front of us was the word, “Parts”. Still no big deal, as far as I can tell. But – color me intrigued.

So I scooched over in the seat and looked again, and lo and behold (which I believe is an olde English expression that means hey, looky thar!), an amazing transformation took place, right before my eyes. Up there, big as life, the building sign now proudly proclaimed in no uncertain terms: “FARTS”!

Now, if you’re anything like me (and sincere condolences if that happens to be the case), you’re gonna have to stop and think about that one a mite.

Oh, I know, I know; obviously the place doesn’t sell, y’know, liver-and-garlic sausage (or something equally disastrous, if you get my meanin’). It’s just that an ordinary light pole, when one’s point of view was juuuust right – caused a somewhat, um, regrettable alteration in one particular letter. Unfortunately, it was enough to completely discombobulate the message.

Hey, I realize it’s simply a matter of bein’ in exactly the right spot. Still, it was not only a funny thing to see, but the – can we call it an ‘incident’? – made me wonder how many other signs I could find that, well, don’t necessarily say what the proprietors of these shops think they say. Or maybe they do?

So here’s a few signs for your contemplation, from one of my favorite spots on the Internet, the FAIL Blog:




Hey, have you ever run across any similar images? Share the URLs in the comment box and let us all enjoy 'em!

The Benfits of Bulk Packaging

Buy Big, Live Large

Have you noticed that packaging containers are getting bigger and bigger? A box of cereal hardly fits in the trunk of your car anymore. And who needs to lift weights? Just carry a box of detergent around for half an hour.

Bulk packaging carries a number of economic and environmental benefits, which explains why the popularity of the bulk buy is exploding. I recently jumped on the bandwagon with this purchase -



After calculating my projected hair loss and life expectancy, I determined that this container of shampoo should be a lifetime supply. Come to think of it, I may have overshot the mark, but no worries. I have three daughters who will use it up in short order. Let's just hope they don't do the same with whatever money they might be lucky enough to inherit.

The problem now is getting the shampoo upstairs into my shower. The bulk container weights about 400 pounds and so far I haven't figured out how to maneuver it through the door from our garage into the house. People have suggested running a hose, but I'm not sure about drilling holes through the ceiling. It could hurt the resale value of our property, which has dropped about 75% in the last twelve months already.

I am saving a ton of money on shampoo, however. This 55 gallon drum cost me only $125 (plus $150 shipping). An equivalent amount of shampoo would have run four or five times as much, and that's not even taking inflation into account. Buy big, live large.

Things I Like about the Bush and Obama Administrations

I dare you to guess what made these marks

So, I went out to the truck the other morning and these marks were on all sides. Same with the girlfriends Explorer.

I found out what they were after some investigating. Wanna guess?

OK, there were some pretty good guesses.

Robert came the closest in that, yes they were moose oriented.

The marks that you see were caused by...

I thought my 5 year old and her friend had been wiping at the road dirt on the vehicles, so I gave a stern lecture about paint finishes and scratches. - Then the neighbor across the street told me that we had a Momma and baby moose over in our driveway the other night.

Turns out, the marks are from the moose licking off the road salt!

There you have it! Gotta love living in Alaska.

Twitter through History

Image via Wikipedia

tommyj Good morning, Tweepatriots!

bfrank Hi Tom. @jmadison How's your head feeling?

tommyj Ben, you like "we the people" or "we the american people"?

jmadison @bfrank @tommyj lousy! too much ale!!

bfrank @jmadison LOL . Tell me about it. Didn't need those last two rounds.

bfrank @tommyj I like we the american people. Or tweeple ...


aaronburr @bfrank @tommyj When in doubt cut it out.

KGeorge3 @tommyj @bfrank @jmadison You guys suck

jmadison did you see washington's teeth?

bfrank @KGeorge3 You suck more

aaronburr @jmadison Whats wrong with his teeth?

jmadison @aaronburr no, I mean he lost them at the bar last night. You can't understand a word he says.

tommyj RT @bfrank @KGeorge3 You suck more

tommyj @bfrank @jmadison @Going with "WTP". Messengering drafts your way.

jmadison @tommyj thanks, man.

wigout1 Anybody seen my teeth?

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zuwanderer

Vanity License Plates You'll Never See

Image by woody1778a via Flickr

License plates have become one of the hottest modes of self expression around. Here are a few vanity license plates you're not likely to see ... can you think of others?

WITNESS PROTECTION
IM 2 DRUNK
INCOGNITO
COPS SUCK
NO INSURANCE
I HITNRUN

Traditional Scottish Toasts

I ran a cross a bunch of Scottish toasts over the weekend. This close to new years, it only seemed fitting.

Cheers!

Some have meat but cannot eat;
Some could eat but have no meat;
We have meat and can all eat;
Blest, therefore, be God for our meat.
- Dr. Plume, The Selkirk Grace, in his manuscripts in a handwriting from about 1650

Here's to me and here's to you,
And if in the world
There was just us two
And I could promise that nobody knew
Would you?

Here's a bottle and an honest man!
What wad ye wish for mair, man?
Wha kens, before his life may end,
What his share may be o' care, man?

Then catch the moments as they fly,
And use them as ye ought, man.
Believe me happiness is shy,
And comes not aye when sought, man!
- Robert Burns.

May the best you've ever seen
Be the worst you'll ever see;
May a moose ne'er leave yer girnal
Wi' a teardrop in his e'e.
May ye aye keep hale and hearty
Till ye're auld enough tae dee,
May ye aye be just as happy
As I wish ye aye tae be.

(girnal - meal chest; moose - mouse)
- Allan Ramsay of Ayr.

Here's to you, as good as you are,
And here's to me, as bad as I am;
But as good as you are, and as bad as I am,
I am as good as your are, as bad as I am.
Old Scottish Toast

With thanks to www.visitdunkeld.com

So let's hear it!

What Scottish toasts do you have for Scrambled Toast?